You look at your significant other and realize they're proposing and everyone within 20 ft has their phones out to record this pinnacle moment… No pressure.
I remember when I turned around and realized my then-boyfriend was on his knee with a ring in his hand. Bewildered I looked around in disbelief, "What is this? Is this for real? Are you kidding me?" I almost choked as I took a step further to investigate the scene in front of me. When my brain registered that this was indeed a real marriage proposal I was overcome with joy that the man whom I love dearly had just asked me to marry him and of course I said "Yes!". Actually, I'm sure I just tearfully nodded and feebly accepted the ring as he slid it on my finger. My thoughts were racing, "Do I look ok? I wish I had worn something more flattering! Why is everyone staring at me?" I realized everyone at the party had been in on it and I suddenly felt hot under all the cameras.
If you're like me, dread followed shortly after joy. Fear not curvy girl, you're going to rock the shit out of whatever dress you choose and you will look back fondly on your big day.
My ring fit perfectly and he picked it out himself
I went to David's Bridal with just my mom because I figured it was the first place I'd go and we were only looking, the wedding was a year away. Well let me tell you, the associate who was taking care of us was a master at the craft, sweeping me up in lace and tulle. Before I knew it I was in a dressing room squeezing my tits into a bustier. The VERY FIRST dress I tried on, I fell in love. I tried to reason with myself and calm down, surely I was just feeling the excitement of being in a wedding gown for the first time. It was a dress the associate had picked for me and I was eager to try my own picks. I had chosen a few trumpet cut and other form fitting options. While I love a sexy silhouette, I found that in those cuts I looked like an albino snake trying to swallow a bullfrog – not so sexy. After what seemed like twelve other bad choices, I came back to that first dress – It was the one, I knew it. I ordered it in a size 18 and left the store giddy and drunk with glee.
My dress was ordered in size 18 in October 2015
Every bride knows the struggle of trying to lose a few lbs before the big day. However, I tend to eat under stress and well… planning a wedding is stressful as all get out! Im not all that embarrassed to say I actually packed on a few rather than lost a few. I remember feeling like a failure at the time, feeling like I was going to look back on my wedding day and be ashamed of the way I looked. As the wedding approached I set up alteration appointments. With a few months left until "I Do" I needed my dress let out two inches on either side. However I still felt gorgoues in the dress, it was a very forgiving cut and I knew that a few inches weren't going to make or break the best day of my life.
I was about a size 20 when it was altered in July of 2016
I swear to God I thought I was the only one who was freaking out over how I was going to look, that is, until my bridesmaids needed dresses. I had every shape and size of woman in my Bridal party and they were equally terrified. My sister is a size 0, she actually had to have their smallest size, a size 2, specially ordered and taken in some. Another bridesmaid is roughly the same height and same shape as me except she has a larger bust. One of my bridesmaids is 6' tall and another one is 5' . My other two girls had just given birth in the previous year so they wanted comfortable dresses. I figured out very quickly that they would all have to find a dress they could agree on so we went back to David's Bridal and were able to find a dress that looked great on everyone! They were a lot more cooperative than any bridesmaids I'd seen on TV reality shows. (PS love you ladies!)
Makeup and Hair
I knew how I wanted my hair, I wanted it the way I always wear it – long and in loose curls. The makeup was more of an obstacle. I'd seen some makeup I liked on Pinterest so I took the images to a few stylists. Maybe it's just the area I'm in but I left each stylist deeply disappointed and disheartened, no one was able to do my hair or makeup the way I desired. Who was going to make me look the way I wanted to look? I decided I would do it MY DAMN SELF. A $300 trip to sephora (still cheaper than a makeup artist) and I was set. The wedding began at 1pm and this is my finished face around 11am. I chose a bold red lip because, why the fuck not? And yes my teeth were that white, I used crest strips for about a month.
I wore bellami hair extensions in 18" off-black for volume
I didn't feel an ounce of shame about my body on my wedding day. I did however feel hot and sweaty because my chest was stuffed into a corset. I also put Vaseline on my ring finger to ensure he could get the run over my chubby knuckles. He laughed at me and reassured me he wouldn't have any difficulty. The day went off without a hitch and I was beside myself. No one said anything about me being fat or having too many tattoos or my lipstick color, it was all in my head. I felt radiant and confident.
Just because I remembered feeling beautiful doesn't mean the pictures wouldn't betray me. I eagerly waited and when they finally came I was floored! The photographer and I had sat down before the wedding and I told him which angles worked for me and which shots I thought were flattering, he reassured me there was nothing to worry about and every angle he captured was perfect. (My husband looked flawless but he always does)
My dress was very flattering and I was so happy that a lot of the pictures look and feel organic which is exactly what I wanted. Naturally flowing pictures.
I love being married and I love my husband. I don't look back on our day and think, "Gosh the only thing that would've made it better is if I had been skinnier". I did however ask my husband in a moment of weakness if he would still love me even if I never lost weight. Do you know what this perfect man said? He said, "I love you now don't I?". He married me for my wit, my tenderness and my love – not for sex, money or anything else that's temporary. I seem to have found the one.
If you're newly engaged
My best advice is to go with your gut. If you want something you better ask for it! Don't settle for mediocre hair or give in to picky bridesmaids and pushy family members. Most of all DONT place unrealistic expectations on yourself or the wedding. Have fun, breathe, enjoy and don't think too much about it! Hopefully you're getting married for the right reasons and if so, they will love you no matter what.
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Until next time